For Sale: 40$ Lipstick

     
     I am cold and wineless as I sit here wrapped neck high in the most hideous cat printed blanket I have ever seen. For the last two hours I have been consemplating on wether or not I should rip up the cheap carpet in my closet sized living room, dig up a man made hole, throw all my outdated heels in the sunnuvabitch, and light it up like a high school homecoming bonfire just to keep from getting my heat bill refinanced next month.

Are you laughing? No? You must be paddling in the same boat. Come to my house and we can keep eachother warm for the next 6 to 8 months (F*cking Colorado). Bring your ugly dancing shoes and a cheap bottle of Boonesfarm...

Speaking of ugly shoes...yes, they do exist. Even those expensive Gianni Bini's you bought using two in a half months worth of gas money last season - they all have there day. I recently (actually last Saturday to be exact) retired a trusty old pair of glossy black Steve Madden's that have seen me through heartaches, foot breaks and countless train wrecked dates.  I'll admit that my eyes got a little teary as I layed them to rest in the dumpster behind my house. Not because I had a dying love for those four inch liquor calve toe crushers...but because I dont want to have to shell out the money for a new pair. (Note to self: need to get rich boyfriend prior to Christmas...Renote to self: need to get rich FEMININE GAY boy slash friend wanting a girlfriend as a cover up).

Nonetheless - I figured that walking down Tejon with the pitter patter of sexy legs in a pair of disinegrating heels is not so attractive. I wore those bad boys down to the very nail...and for about three weekends in a row - I walked around sounding like a pirate with a peg leg.


Beauty has no pain...(heartless bitch)

The economy has taken a toll on both my wallet, credit card (maxed) and vanity so I cracked and went to Walgreens today and bought a duo black eyeliner pencil for 2.99. I wanted to have a "Dane Cook Crying" moment right there in the store. You see I am in this very steady relationship with the Sephora Make Up store on North Powers and Carefree. We are at the point in our commitment to where an abiding agreement has been established and as long as I spend a minimum of 75$ dollars each time we hook up - she almost always gaurauntees me a mysterious set of sex kitten eyes and three good hair days a week. So you can imagine the disgust and guilt that races over me when going to Walgreens for a makeup run. The feeling is similar to finding your boyfriend cheating on you with the guy you had a crush on in 7th grade...one wearing a pink sparkly strap-on, and the other - your favorite Victorias Secret push up bra. Yeah, its really that bad and if you have ever tried the Gawd Damn 40$ lipstick I bought a few months back, in which I can't even remember the name of it, you would totally understand. The addiction is pure insanity, and if your love for vibrant blushes and drag queen eyeshadows is as bad as mine....then Sephora resembles the closest thing to men permanently leaving down the toilet seat and you are gaurunteed to walk out of there looking like a Million Dollar Mimi from the Drew Carey Show.

Well my little late night bloggettes, I have traded in the lipstick for the chapstick and have thrown in the ugly cat blanket for the night.

((In my state of desperation and during the course of this blog, I got up and managed to flip on the heat switch - only to turn it off nine minutes later. Does Craigslist permit the sale of lipsticks?? I'll mark it down 10% as is. I assume those 540 seconds of heated blowing air will be enough to prompt me to get a second job))

Sleep Pretty.

- SittingPretty719